WEB is a stalker. Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Foursquare asks where I am.
In this blog you will see why stalking happen and how to rid of from your life.
Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follow or harasses another person and who makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear for his or her safety, or the safety of his or her immediate family.
Unfortunately, there is no single psychological or behavioral profile for stalkers. Every stalker is different. This makes it virtually impossible to devise a single effective strategy that can be applied to every situation. It is vital that stalking victims immediately seek the advice of local victim specialists who can work with them to devise a safety plan for their unique situation and circumstances
Stalking Warning Signs
•extreme jealousy
•following
•threats
•physical or verbal abuse
•damage or destruction to your property
•makes your friends or family feel scared or uneasy
•offers of unsolicited help
•refused to accept no for an answer
•switches between rage and "love"
•unable to cope with rejection
•falls instantly in love
What can you do?
Write down everything that happens. Include dates, locations, times and any exact words that you can remember. Keep answering machine tapes that might include threatening or inappropriate messages. Keep any letters, notes, other writings and any objects or gifts sent to you. Tell friends and family the importance of keeping your personal information private. Tell someone.
What are the stalker behaviors?
•following
•obsessive behavior
•inappropriate approaches & confrontations
•unwanted telephone calls
•threats
•threats to family and friends
•unwanted letters
•unwanted or threatening gifts
•damage to property
•physical assault
•unwanted e-mail
•appearing at place of residence, school, or work
•sexual assault
Research studies
If you want to know something about stalking, then prepare yourself to be surprised. Here are some research findings:
- Women stalk men nearly as much as men stalk women
- Men and women also stalk each other in similar ways
- Men stalk more at night and women stalk more by day.
- Nearly 3 out of 11 people who break up will begin to feel or think they are being stalked.
- On any given day, about one out of a thousand people may feel like they are being stalked.
A true stalker can't stand to be ignored. If they can't have your love they will settle for your anger and hatred. The worst things you can do are responding and interact with someone who may be stalking you. Why do they feel this way and what can you do about?
Despite a growing body of research in the past five years, stalking is still very misunderstood by the public, the courts and law enforcement. For practical purposes there are three types of stalking.
1. Relationship stalking occurs when a couple breaks up. But that is not stalking in a legal sense. It just looks like and feels like stalking.
2. Obsessional stalking develops because of the way the couple interacted and the way they broke up. Obsessional stalking is a psychological problem that has many causes but in general it is the result of an "on again" and "off again" relationship as was well as a "desire and fear of a relationship" in one person and "fear of separation and loss" in the other. The childhood of at least one these people is usually emotionally barren or emotionally abusive.
3. Delusional stalking occurs when a mental disorder causes the person to become obsessed or fixated on some unsuspecting person because of what amounts to a medical condition. In some cases a severe psychological obsession becomes delusional. The delusional stalker becomes irrational and fixated on people like movie stars, a public figure, a co-worker or even a former intimate relationship.
Unwanted pursuit behavior
Nearly 90% of all college students who break up will engage in what is called "unwanted pursuit behavior". Pursuit behavior includes writing notes, giving gifts, making phone calls, contacting friends, following the person or intruding in their life. This can border and easily cross the line and become an obsession. What researcher’s find interesting is that pursuit behavior is normal. If Jane dissolves a relationship with Bob, then it is very common for Bob to pursue Jane as a means to restore the relationship. Researchers call this a "relationship repair mechanism." Some people and even the courts mistakenly call this stalking.
The worst type of stalker has to be the ex who once shows lot love and now want to murder you. We have all heard of the type: "If I can't have you, nobody will," but secretly hoped they were only in the movies where they boil dead pet rabbits. They exist in reality, too. Eventually moving across the country helped to eliminate mine, but while I was in the situation and unable to flee, I found some ways to stay safer.
Here are cools tips to rid of stalking…
Move to new Place
Moving across the country/city/town is good choice if you can do this. This way you will have new place to live with new ideas for new life. The hassle of moving is well worth the peace of mind when in bed at night hearing scraping noises on the window. Some states, like Arizona, have laws that allow you to break a lease if you are in danger in a domestic violence situation.
Keep Evidence
If stalker has guts to leave dozen of phone messages, than keep those recording for future use. They ranged from suicidal: "I'll kill myself without you," to homicidal: "You should be dead and rotting in a trash heap." I brought them to the police. Also keep a log of all stalker activity, with times, dates and photos of any damage he's done to your home or car.
Contact Police
Talk to local detectives and let them know the situation. Keep them updated with any stalker activity, no matter how menial it may seem. Don't call them every five minutes or you'll just turn into the boy that cries wolf, but do update them regularly.
Change your daily route
Change your daily route to go to work or to shopping. Go to work early or late. Walk your dog to a new park.
Change your Phone number and get phone ID
This will help you to get less crank calls. Block your number and give the number to trusted people.
Never go alone to new place/shop/club
Avoid going alone to new place/shop/club/gym.
Talk to Relationship counselor
End the relationship together with the help of counselor. Talk to a counselor to help you make sure that you don’t send mixed messages.
Mutual friends
Don’t talk to mutual friends or the other person’s friends about your relationship.
Talk to Mental health professional
Contact a qualified mental health professional if you believe you are at risk or if you are being stalked.
How to say no nicely
•I'm not interested in having a relationship with you. Do not continue to call, or stop by, or have any contact with me whatsoever.
•I am ending our relationship. Do not make any attempt to try and renew it. I will not change my mind. I do not wish to have any contact with you now or in the future. IF you try to contact me, I will take legal action.
